my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
