Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
