I bet he comes in French.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
