these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
