Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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