if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
