i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
