We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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