So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I am naked and annoyed.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
