can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
