So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
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We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
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And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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