Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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