Whoa Z and x make the same sound
they need to just BURY HIM!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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