my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
