i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
