ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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