just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
