Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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