sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
