Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
