Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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