Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
