She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
