i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Sext me about skeletons
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
