carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
