And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
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I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
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Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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