I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
