just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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