I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
