turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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