at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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