My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
