She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
