I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
