love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
