Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
