Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
