can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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