i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I checked into jail on foursquare
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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