marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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