What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
