that's an acceptable place to lick
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
