that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
