I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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