My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
