she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize