Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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