Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize