it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
how does that bad decision feel?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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