Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
