walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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