then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We had sex on a dog bed..
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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