I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
