If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
