after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Randomize
