he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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