honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
