I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
sex in a hospital.. check
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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