Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
