i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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