tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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