Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
