Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
