he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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