The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
