JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
