Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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