I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
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His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
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High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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